


Like Gold

by nesswoodfield



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-03 15:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12751290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nesswoodfield/pseuds/nesswoodfield
Summary: There's just something about Vanessa that captures Charity and she doesn't understand why.





	Like Gold

She never apologises.

Like Vanessa said, it's what she does - the winding people up. _That's_ her thing: she's prides herself on being emotionlessly hilarious with no hint of remorse, certainly no ounce of vulnerability and definitely not in front of the whole village.

But there she went again, at the bar, drawn to her for reasons she actively chose not to think about. She thought it best to ignore why she wanted to get Vanessa to spend the night again so badly, favouring the idea that she needed to reassure her power, to somehow hold their affair over the other woman so that she was in control of something. Except this was definitely not in her control, not anymore.

Charity was certain that the grasping feeling within her was unclasping her balance slowly and slowly, she would often find herself slumped behind the bar with her eyes glued to blonde hair, most of the time she couldn't even see Vanessa's face but the back of her head and the occassional laugh were enough to satisfy her from afar. It was hard to not just jump and run and avoid every possible interaction - but that would mean she was weak,  _these aren't feelings_ , she would tell herself, and so she tried to prove it, by pursuing and regaining that power.

Only Vanessa didn't take the bait anymore. And that hurt more than it should do.

Chas's voice cut through her train of thought, "--So, uh, what's going on with Vanessa then?", her eyes snapped up to blink at her, mind searching for some kind of reply that wasn't going to make her sound like a total fumbling idiot.

"Oh, God, nothing! Nah, that was just, I was just messing with her." She shook her head, moving swiftly to collect some glasses up from the bar, "It's fun to see her getting all twitchy whenever I bring it up." Charity added through a low chuckle, catching sight of the vet sat back in the booth next to Rhona, "Isn't that right Ness?" She straightened up, the edges of her lips curling as she once again tried to reel back her power.

From the quiet scoff and brief roll of her eyes in response, she would say she might need a little more practice. 

Leaning back against a bar stool, Chas nodded slowly, "Right... Well just so you know, you need to try and make your staring less obvious, I was starting to get a different idea." She laughed, lightly shoving her in the side. Charity laughed too, then swallowed thickly. She needed to raise her game in some way, she couldn't keep getting rejected by Vanessa forever.

* * *

 

She never gets ignored.

Okay, maybe once or twice she's been faced with the cold shoulder when searching for a booty call but never before has she cared so much about it. It's the power thing, Charity tries to convince herself once more - she needs to know that Vanessa still needs her, wants her - she always gets what she wants. Only now, she hasn't even been rejected and that seems to sting even more.

"Will you stop sulking at that phone, you're not going to summon a flamin' reply by staring at the screen... Oh and your face is putting punters off." Chas quipped, forcing Charity back into the real world once again. 

She wasn't sulking. She was just in a weird mood. "Charming." She shot back, crossing one leg over the other as she pushed her phone over the counter, in an attempt to prove she wasn't checking for anything.

Raising an eyebrow, Chas turned her attention to the blonde whilst drying the glass in her hand, "Who is it, anyway?" She pushed, then her eyes twinkled, "Or do I even need to ask?" 

"Will you shut up about Vanessa, it's nothing."

"I didn't even mention her name, babe." You could hear the smug tone to her voice throughout the Woolpack, somewhat satisfied for a confirmation, "So it is her that's got you looking all sad, then?" She asked, wondering just how far she could push the other woman before she exploded or bit her head off.

Was she really that easy to read? Chas was annoying her now and honestly, she needed some time to herself to realise where her head was before she could go and blurt something out in front of the whole pub. Sighing, Charity sat up straighter and tried to compose herself, "No, actually." She lied, "I, ah, our Sarah's in hospital so, just waiting for an update from Debs." She shrugged, that wasn't entirely a lie, she was worried about her too, "-Don't worry, she's okay. " She added before she was faced with a wave of concern, "Something about a quad bike, but she's  _fine._ I'm just... Worried, antsy. I don't know, but it's got nothing to do with Vanessa bloody Woodfield, alright? So would you just drop it?" Her voice raised slightly, clearly the rage inside of her wasn't easily containing itself but she needed the questions to stop. 

Chas gave a small nod and Charity hopped down from her stool, putting her phone in her back pocket, thankful for the fact that she was able to take a hint. 

* * *

It was later on that evening when Charity was emptying some crates outside that she caught sight of her, or well, her yellow raincoat actually but she was sure that no one else in the village could pull one off as well as her. She debated staying quiet, that the other woman had made it clear about her desires and she wasn't going to be made to look petty. But then she could make out her face again and like always she was drawn to her. Annoyingly so. "Oi, 'Ness." She called out, dropping the empty box onto one of the benches so she could cross her arms.

She could just about see the lines of concern on her forehead, the fumbling notion of catching her alone, the awkwardness but that tiny spark of curiosity which was all Charity needed to cling on to. "Uh, hi." Vanessa breathed out, stopping in her tracks; not moving closer, but she stopped nonetheless.

Charity took this as an opportuntity to start walking closer, slowly.  "You know I was beginning to think you were ignoring me, or is it everyone that you just blank out now?" As soon as she said it, she could see the flashes of panic across Vanessa's face, the cogs turning to try and come up with something, an excuse or an insult or whatever. But Charity was waiting, she could wait it out all night if she had to. 

"I've been in consultant meetings all day..." She decided on eventually, "I did see your text at lunch but I, ah, didn't get a chance to reply to it." Her lip furrowed between her teeth, eyes seeming to glance everywhere but on the landlady. 

Poised, ready for another rejection, Charity's eyes glistened, "Well why don't you answer it now, babe? Yes or no? Are you free?" She knew it was risky but maybe the pressure of the moment would be all it would take for her to get Vanessa to herself again for a few moments.

Hands fumbled, scratched behind her ear, "-Johnny, I can't." Her voice quaked a little, a hint of sympathy but the determination behind her words was enough to seal it.

"I get it. It's cool." Charity replied, plastering a small smile on her face as she grabbed the crates and moved to go back inside, that sick feeling swelling in her stomach was getting to her again. Never again. Never again would she let herself get turned down by Vanessa. The creeping guilt for making her make an instant decision was there but it was outweighed by the humiliation. "-You know, it's a shame." Her voice called out, clearly not bypassing the brain first seeing as it seemed to shock Charity herself, where was she even going to go with that? "I had this whole evening planned and everything... You look nice, though." Nice? Bloody hell Charity. No wonder the girl didn't want to come back with her.

Vanessa hadn't even moved, she was just kind of stuck in the moment. "Have a good night, Charity." She replied, taking a hold of herself and making a move towards her house. 

She stood and watched blonde hair and strokes of a yellow coat drift away again. "Yeah, you too." 

She never gets rejected. But when it means she could even catch a glimpse of Vanessa, sometimes, she thought, sometimes it might be worth it.


End file.
